This week I have been thinking a lot about how I can bring more positive social interactions into my life.
A few weeks ago, I took an online course led by positive psychology professor, Barbara Fredrickson. She talked about how to bring more positive emotions into your life. And one easy way she mentioned to do this is to create more positive social interactions. This instantly resonated with me because I know from experience that the more social I am, the happier I seem to feel. Apparently research also backs up this theory, even for introverted personality types.
So this week for my self-coaching experiment, I am going to take a look at my top 5 goals for the new year and see if I can tweak them a bit to make them more social.
Goal #1 – Book more coaching clients
This feels like an easy one for me. I have already thought that the best way I can book more clients is to spread the word about what it is that I am offering. Now it’s time for me to get out of the house and start networking. I could meet with past clients to see how they’re doing. I could meet with friends and colleagues just to catch up and learn more about what they are doing these days. And I could even meet with people I don’t know very well but find interesting.
In Keith Ferazzi’s book “Never Eat Alone”, he talks about networking as relationship building. And recommends not waiting to meet with someone when you actually need something from them. So if I just look at these early interactions as getting to know and staying in touch with people I enjoy, that’s bond to lead to some pretty interesting conversations and over time, some new clients. And who knows, it could happen sooner than I expect.
Goal #2 – Book a public speaking gig
Now it makes sense that public speaking would automatically be a social endeavor. But up until this point, I have mostly only “thought” about what I would like to do rather than actually doing the work. When I created shows in New York, I would book shows before I even had them written. Comedians do this all the time, they have a gig coming up and then they cram for a week to figure out what jokes they want to tell. That fast paced, get me off my butt work ethic has always worked really well for me. The trouble with public speaking is that I am new to the industry and I don’t yet know how and where to book the gigs. But I bet there are people who do…
So I am going to figure this out. Instead of waiting until I have the perfect talk prepared, how can I actually book a public speaking gig? I have a few friends I can ask, online resources, places I can look to find out. Then once I book it, I can figure out what I will say. And chances are things will work out great.
Goal #3 – Start a blog
This feels like an easy one because I am already doing it. Well, at least I am doing some part of it. I knew that in order to write more, I would have to find some way to hold myself accountable. So I joined an online writing forum. The benefits, I have received in just the few short weeks since joining this group have been tremendous. It is strictly an accountability group. They don’t give you feedback on your writing specifically but you are encouraged to write daily and keep track of it in a log that is shared with your peers and writing coach. I am amazed at how much writing I am actually doing. And at the gentle way my coach nudges me to keep going.
The second part of this goal is to actually share my blog with the world. And that sharing is in itself a social activity. My hope is to keep writing through the encouragement of this group and then begin sharing it with you at the beginning of 2018. In fact, if you are reading this entry then it means that the sharing has begun.
Goal #4 – Exercise
Phew this is a tough one. I feel like I have been pregnant or nursing for the past 3 years. Oh wait, it’s actually been more than 3 years!!! So my body is totally different than it used to be. And a challenging sweaty yoga class just doesn’t have the same appeal to me as it used to. Now instead I crave more interaction and personal satisfaction from exercise. But taking a class with others doesn’t necessarily mean that the exercise will be social. I can take a class with people inches away and never even have a conversation. What I am craving is connection.
So I think I will sign up for a weekly yoga class called The Practice again. This is not necessarily the most physically challenging yoga class but it is an excellent way to connect with others. Each class begins with a check in and short meditation followed by a simple yoga sequence. And I believe that by spending 90 minutes each week stepping back into class, it could begin to have a positive ripple effect.
Goal #5 – Quality time with my husband
I think the biggest thing I miss since becoming a parent is the one-on-one time I used to have with my husband. Now it seems like we are dividing and conquering the children as single parents. And when we do have time together, I am so exhausted I just have to go to bed. So my goal here would be to find ways to have more quality connection again.
I know that it will be inherently social because the two of us will be connecting but I wonder if we also made it more outwardly social then it could be more sustainable? So how could we do that? We could plan outings with others. We could go to events where we need to buy tickets. But something is still missing here. I can’t quite put my finger on it. One of the great things about our relationship is how openly we are able to share thoughts and ideas with each other. So I may reach out to him for some input on this one. But I believe we can do it.
So this feels like a pretty good plan for 2018, don’t you think? No really, I am curious, what do you actually think? As mentioned in goal #3, my social interactions can start here with my blog. I would sincerely love to hear from you.
How has making your goals more social interactive helped you sustain them?
Any goals you plan to tweak to make more social?
What ideas do you have for me to spend more quality time with my husband?
I look forward to hearing from you. And cheers to more socially interactive (and positively productive) 2018!
All the best,